Failure to Communicate – Part 3

An all-too-regular occurrence in relationships is that men tend to back away from addressing issues with which they are not satisfied, in the interests of keeping peace. It is a generalisation, but one that can erode relationships over time.

It is not about who actually gets right of way, but more about what a guy is really feeling when he does this.  The I-won’t-say-anything-because-I-might-not-get-any-tonight cop-out or the I-can’t-bear-another-fight motivation can easily deprive a relationship of a much-needed tension resolution that can improve, not impair, it.  Of course, this is as long as the communication strategies we have been looking at continue to be used.

When men back off, they fail to show the leadership that generates respect, anyway.  Ironically, it is often the lack of respect that cuts deep in these scenarios.  Saying what he thinks can be dangerous, but for a guy to be articulate enough to draw clear boundaries in his own mind, and to then talk respectfully in a manner whereby those can be challenged, safely allows mature resolution of issues. And if feelings of threat or frustration should surface, then these can only be identified and expressed to enhance the discussion and its ultimate outcomes.

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